How to Meditate

I’ve had a lot of people tell me that they don’t know how to meditate. They’ll say things like, “there are so many different ways to do it so how do I know which one is right? Here’s my humble opinion:

All of them and none of them.

I don’t mean to sound like one of those mystics who never takes a bath and always speaks with incomprehensible jargon but it’s the best way I can explain it.

I used to try sitting in the lotus position with the Buddhists. They’d tell me to clear my mind of all thought. When a thought arises just say “thank you” and let it pass. After a while I got tired of showing gratitude for the same recurring thought. I just felt dishonest to say “thank you” for this experience of deep pain and paralysis in my legs. They’d say it’s important to keep your spine straight so the energy can flow through you and I’d beat myself up for slouching.

Then, one day, I discovered the ancient secret that transcends all time and space. That one common teaching spoken by the great teachers for thousands of years and I’m going to share it with you right now.

Are you ready? Here we go…now pay close attention so you don’t miss anything.

JUST SHUT THE HELL UP AND LISTEN!

What are you supposed to be listening for? I don’t know…but you will when you hear it.

That’s it; it doesn’t matter whether you’re in the lotus position chanting ooooohhhhmmmm or singing hey diddle diddle. Whatever works for you. We all have our own infinite wisdom within us…just listen to it. Don’t worry if all you can think about is getting laid or eating pizza (2 of my favorites). That’s exactly what you’re supposed to be thinking about.

I used to think that if I kept practicing, the truth will one day be revealed to me. Now, as I look back I see that it was revealed to me every time. God comes to me and meets me wherever I am. I don’t have to follow the yellow brick road or trek through miles of thorny paths. I just need to be still and listen. Observe everything that’s around me right here and now. That’s where the truth lies.

I hate to disappoint anyone but it’s rarely fireworks and bells. Usually it’s something as subtle as listening to my stomach growl and realizing I’m this amazing creation that automatically gets alerted when I’m hungry. Or maybe I’ll see a homeless person on the street and that feeling in my heart I’m observing will tell me that I am God and God is me. Or I might get pissed off at something and recognize that I am a human being who must continue to grow like everything else in nature.

There is no right or wrong way to meditate…THERE’S ONLY YOUR WAY

Love and Gratitude