Sometimes A Man Just Needs A Good Blow Job

There hasn’t been any shortage of excitement in the southern US this fall as Mother Nature made many of us her cuckold for a couple weeks. She sent my wife, Kristin and I packing as Irma was bearing down on us with all the wrath of a woman scorned.

Regrettably, we didn’t get a chance to cuddle after our encounter but she did leave me with some important growth opportunities and reminders of life lessons.

My wife was a nervous wreck and she actually made herself physically ill, worrying about possible outcomes as we sat in the 200 mile gridlock on I95 north. I, on the other hand, had a strange calm about me.

All my friends and loved ones had made their own choices as to whether to stay or go and I had minimized my material attachments  a couple years ago so the rest was up to that Higher Power I’ve come to love and trust. Having the serenity to accept the things I have no control over has brought me to this place where I can calmly move forward and keep myself open to the life lessons that are meant for me.

HA HA HA HA HA…Yeah right!

Don’t get me wrong, I can be a very serene dude and respond accordingly when the shit hits the fan… until I can’t. As soon as I think I’ve become this enlightened soul who is oblivious to the natural world, the shit fairy shows up and leaves another gift under my pillow.

This was no exception. The lessons I would take away from my trip had nothing to do with losing my life or my home like it did for so many others but we all have a story to share and this one is mine.

Sometimes Mother Nature is the most beautiful, nurturing momma imaginable and other times she’s like one of those nuns from Catholic school, wacking you across the knuckles with a yard stick. Either way, I always take away valuable lessons if I’m open to receiving them. Here are a few of those lessons she literally blew my way.

Lesson 1. Be here now. My first lesson was about patience. This happened about 10 hours into the evacuation trip. Despite the committee in my head telling me I was going to New Hampshire and I had to get there ASAP, the reality was I didn’t have to be anywhere except where I was. We left in plenty of time and were well out of harm’s way as we reached the Georgia line so instead of setting my site on my final destination and getting  frustrated at the traffic I could make another choice and celebrate our progress. This is just one metaphor for how I tend to live my life when I’m not being mindful. I’ll get a desired outcome in my head and won’t be happy until I get there. Then the happiness lasts about as long as a my 13 year old self having sex and it’s on to the next goal. This never gives me time to celebrate and be happy.

Patience is not about white knuckling it until you get there but realizing you’ve already arrived.

Lesson 2. The show must go on.  Don’t get distracted from your own mission while watching others do theirs. I don’t think I spent as much time watching TV in the past year as I did over a 4 day period watching Irma reek havoc on all those poor souls on the islands. For so many, it was a tragedy of epic proportion. Unless you were there (and I wasn’t), it’s hard to imagine the extent of their suffering and I pray for them daily.

I also pray for the thousands of innocent lives that are affected daily, just in our country, due to drug related deaths alone. That’s not even counting all the other suffering caused by an addicted society. This is the mission where I was called to serve and instead of living true to myself, I was watching something on TV that I had absolutely no control over. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s important to stay informed, show compassion for others, and offer help where I can, during their struggles but staring at a television screen for 4 days went way beyond that, for me.

Lesson 3. I’m always home. I remember back in 2014 when I was contemplating my eventual decision to give all my personal belongings away and detach from all the shit that no longer supported my new life story. I asked Kristin what her thoughts were and she told me without hesitation, ” Whether we stay here or move into a cardboard box, we will be home and we will be happy.” (Man, I wish I had her wisdom). Since that time she, our dog, and I have been happily at home regardless of where we were at the time. The house with the white picket fence has always been someone else’s story, not mine. I’m grateful that our little house in South Florida was spared but our home, as we define it today, was never at risk. As far as I can tell, we’ll never figure out how to be happy 24/7 but we can be free and freedom trumps happy any day.

Lesson 4. There’s always room for gratitude.  It’s easy to get caught up in the bullshit of the moment and retreat to that fear based survival part of the brain. That’s why it’s so important to do daily practices that trigger me to pause, take a deep breath, and think of 10 things I’m grateful for in those moments. It’s true that I was forced to evacuate my house and that I may never return. It’s also true that the work I’d done over the past couple years had empowered me to bust through any obstacles in my path while maintaining crystal clear focus on my life purpose. I have a healthy body, a clear mind, awesome relationships and FREEDOM and all I have to do today is the next right thing. It wasn’t too long ago that I was sitting in a public bathroom getting high and  didn’t have any of that.

Regardless of where you are in your life there’s something to be grateful for even if it’s just the fact that you’re fogging up a mirror. As long as you have breath you have infinite potential.

Lesson 5. Before anything, I am a man. I saved the best for last. The biggest lesson I took away from this ordeal was a clearer focus of who I am at my core. Returning home and recognizing the unfinished business I have in healing my relationships with my father and my brother hit me like a ton of bricks.

I was gifted this opportunity to be a man for however long I’m here. That means that my primary focus is to always seek ways to grow as that King/Warrior/Mystic/Lover I was sent here to be. Being a writer, speaker, coach, entrepreneur, etc. is just what I do. Being a man is WHO I AM.

Every situation or circumstance we encounter outside of ourselves provokes thoughts and perceptions within us. Some cause us to curl up in a ball and be small and others empower us to stand tall and beat our chests. It’s just a matter of which thoughts we choose to focus on. We all have the power to make that choice and what you focus on expands.

For me, I CHOOSE DOOR NUMBER TWO.

Rock On!