I was a chronic relapser.
Frustration is no stranger to me. In fact I’m frustrated right now because I’m writing this whole blog over for a second time after my site crashed the first time.
I laugh when I think about how disillusioned I was, early in my recovery, thinking my frustrations would somehow disappear as soon as I found a better way to live without drugs.
The truth is, there are many more things that frustrate me today than when I was using. It makes sense since I usually had only one thing to worry about back then…getting my dope.
Today, I get frustrated about things like:
- The scam artists in certain treatment centers who capitalize on the addict’s pain by recycling them through over and over without actually helping them.
- Big Pharma flooding the streets with poison for their capital greed
- A government that makes deals with our enemies, allowing them to bring heroin into our country to satisfy the agendas of a few rich old heartless men.
- Most importantly, the addicts who die or still suffer because of those things. Or surviving only to find themselves stigmatized and cast out of an ignorant society.
Despite those frustrations, I still have way more things to be grateful for because I’m no longer powerless over my life. Having a healthy brain and a life filled with purpose allows me to put a dent in the things that frustrate me and be a powerful force for change.
Besides, nothing… I repeat NOTHING was more frustrating than the 18 years I spent trying to build a solid foundation of recovery only to find myself relapsing over and over and over again.
I was ready to just say f**k it and die more than a few times.
I never stuck a gun in my mouth but the times I went back out and ended up in the ER from an overdose were usually intentional as I look back. I wanted to kill myself but didn’t quite have the courage to do it right.
Thank God for that because FINALLY, after all those years of trial and error I discovered the 3 things I needed to sustain an awesome life beyond recovery where relapse hasn’t been so much as a passing thought for years.
Being clean and sober is amazing.
It has allowed me to discover a life beyond my wildest dreams. A life that includes an awesome marriage, close intimate relationships with friends and family, financial freedom while doing what I love, great health and energy, and a tight spiritual connection with my Maker. Today, I’ve never felt better and I owe my life to the principles and people in the 12 step rooms.
That being said, it took much more than a recovery program to get here. In fact, for me it took more than that just to keep from relapsing every few months or years even. After years of death defying trial and error, I finally discovered what I needed in order to move beyond the church basements and into my destiny.
I needed a clear destination and a roadmap to get me there.
In other words, I needed these 3 things:
- A Clear Purpose: Every one of us came here with a very specific and unique purpose. When we discover what that is, the need to self-medicate falls away effortlessly and the door opens to a world only limited by your imagination.
- A Clear Vision: Once we discover what that purpose is then we need to create a vision of what we want our life to look like. A really BIG vision with all the dreams you may have previously thought passed you by. Newsflash…they haven’t.
- Clear written goals: Recovery isn’t a goal, it’s a lifestyle choice. A goal has a well-defined finish line. Getting clean is a goal and if you’re like me you achieved that…many times. Once you reach a goal, if you don’t have the first 2 ingredients, the motivation disappears. A man without motivation is like a car without gas. You either come to a standstill or roll backwards. Sound familiar?
If you’re feeling stagnant in your recovery or tired of rolling back down the relapse hill, I have a free gift for you. Click here and get your copy of my latest e-book, Finding Your “Want,” It’s not just information, it’s a workbook packed with exercises for helping you develop your vision by getting clear on what you really want in life.
Then stay tuned over the next several days and I’ll send you some things that will help you get clear on your purpose, your BIG VISION, and how to set goals so they actually work.
Sound good? Cool! If not, feel free to tell me to take you off my email list.
Until then…Keep rockin’ your recovery
With tons of love and gratitude,