The Gifts I Never Wanted

What if every person and every life situation presented to you is a gift from God? – Neale Donald Walsh Usually when I think of a gift it’s something that brings me instant joy or gratification. I think that most of us were programmed at an early age to think that way; at least in the world I lived in. …

Building Wealth Isn’t Always What It Seems

Building an Inflation-Proof  Marriage after Addiction I remember the first day I became aware that I’d finally achieved wealth and success in my life. It was in the fall of 2014 and I had just returned from a road trip that covered all 48 lower states. I’d been gone for 3 months, trying to figure out whether I wanted to …

Why Faking It Til You Make It Works

  I’ve heard a lot of different viewpoints around the saying, fake it til you make it, during my years in the recovery rooms. Some believe that it goes against the principle of honesty that their program is founded on while others swear by it. Then there are those who simply don’t believe in it for whatever reason so they …

My Parents Were Enablers (And Thank God For Them)

It’s no wonder I became a drug addict. After all both of my parents were enablers. Dad was a big-time enabler. He was the model of the hard working man his generation was expected to be. I remember large chunks of my life where he was absent even though we lived under the same roof. I also remember the precious …

I Didn’t Create It, I Can’t Change It (or maybe I can)

I am a firm believer that we are all creators of our own destiny. To believe otherwise would only serve to prevent me from taking the necessary action needed to live the life I desire. That being said, there are many things I can’t change. The two that are most relevant as a father to an addicted child are, other …

What Can I Expect? The Million Dollar Question for a Parent of an Addict

As a father of addicted children, I think I’ve asked that question more often than I’ve asked my wife how her day was. I’ve asked it to cops, judges, lawyers, counselors, God, and anyone else who would listen to me. I remember how all the significant changes in their lives brought about a whole new set of expectations. Times like …

The Brain Dump, Emptying the Other Colon

The more I dive into the other three parts of my being (spiritual, intellectual, and emotional) the more I start to find out how they all work in the same way. For example, when my coach and mentor taught me how to do a brain dump, the 10 year old boy in me chuckled a little. In fact, I almost …

Despising My Addicted Child Was Easier Than Looking At The Truth About Myself

Nothing is more powerful than the story a man creates about himself. -Greg Boudle It took years of enduring the massive pain of wrestling with my emotions, to discover that the source of it was always within me. It was something that I invested my entire life feeding and nurturing and began long before any seeds were ever planted that …

To Enable or Not To Enable

Stop second guessing yourself every time your addicted loved one asks for help. I spent years doing this with my own kids. Every time I refused to “help” them when they asked for money, food, shelter, or any of the hundreds of things they asked of me while in their active addiction, I got this sick feeling in my stomach. …