My Parents Were Enablers

It’s no wonder I became a drug addict. After all both of my parents were enablers. Dad was a big-time enabler. He was the model of the hard working man his generation was expected to be. I remember large chunks of my life where he was absent even though we lived under the same roof. I also remember the precious …

I Didn’t Create It, I Can’t Change It (or maybe I can)

I am a firm believer that we are all creators of our own destiny. To believe otherwise would only serve to prevent me from taking the necessary action needed to live the life I desire. That being said, there are many things I can’t change. The two that are most relevant as a father to an addicted child are, other …

What Can I Expect? The Million Dollar Question for a Parent of an Addict

As a father of addicted children, I think I’ve asked that question more often than I’ve asked my wife how her day was. I’ve asked it to cops, judges, lawyers, counselors, God, and anyone else who would listen to me. I remember how all the significant changes in their lives brought about a whole new set of expectations. Times like …

The Brain Dump, Emptying the Other Colon

The more I dive into the other three parts of my being (spiritual, intellectual, and emotional) the more I start to find out how they all work in the same way. For example, when my coach and mentor taught me how to do a brain dump, the 10 year old boy in me chuckled a little. In fact, I almost …

Despising My Addicted Child Was Easier Than Looking At The Truth About Myself

Nothing is more powerful than the story a man creates about himself. -Greg Boudle It took years of enduring the massive pain of wrestling with my emotions, to discover that the source of it was always within me. It was something that I invested my entire life feeding and nurturing and began long before any seeds were ever planted that …

To Enable or Not To Enable

Stop second guessing yourself every time your addicted loved one asks for help. I spent years doing this with my own kids. Every time I refused to “help” them when they asked for money, food, shelter, or any of the hundreds of things they asked of me while in their active addiction, I got this sick feeling in my stomach. …

Tough Love Is A Crock

5 Things That Great Fathers Taught Me About Loving An Addict Tough Love   [noun]   promotion of another person’s welfare, especially that of an addict or criminal, by requiring them to take responsibility for their own actions. Love and fear can never co-exist in the same space. I’ve heard many parents in the rooms express their frustration with tough love and …

Recovery Without A Why Is Like A Fat Kid Eating Cake

5 Questions You May Want To Ask Before Your Next Meeting I’ve been addicted to so many different things in my life that I’ve lost count. In our society we tend to identify addiction with the substances and behaviors that cause the greatest harm to the greatest amount of people but, in my experience we can become addicted to anything. …

Looking At Your Shit.

Emotions are just mind turds -Guru Doodoo Is it just me, or do other people give their shit a once-over just before it descends down the toilet drain? This morning I was struck with a brief moment of panic while inspecting the by-products of what I allowed into my body the day before. The self-talk started running rampant with thoughts of …